Christmas Crisis

Christmas Crisis?

By Euan Davidson

euandavidson@godalmingfamilymediation.co.uk

Whilst the Christmas period feels like it should be a time of harmony and goodwill towards others, for many people it can be a very stressful time. Some people find themselves looking at all the festive cheer and wondering why they do not share this feeling themselves, and instead feeling isolated and detached, whilst others go to great lengths to make it a memorable time for their friends and families, especially their children, whilst wondering why they feel lonely and unhappy themselves.

With the Christmas season then being followed so closely by New Year, any feelings of unhappiness or uncertainty are likely to be heightened over the New Year period, with the end result often being the making of a series of New Year resolutions that are aimed at making major improvements for the future.

As any experienced counsellor, lawyer or mediator can tell you, this combination of strain during the Christmas period followed by the promise to make the next year better results in there being a large increase in clients seeking their assistance in early-January. Whilst some of these clients still want to work on trying to repair or strengthen their current relationships, others explain that they have reached breaking point and that they feel that they need a new start.

For anyone who has reached this breaking point, the next step is likely to be a crucial one. Do you sit down with your partner to try to work things out, do you instruct a solicitor to start writing letters to your “soon-to-be-ex-partner” or do you contact a family mediator to seek their expertise and assistance?

My suggestion would be that you contact a qualified local mediator to discuss your situation before taking any other steps and then, with the assistance of the mediator who should be able to talk you through the options and refer you to a helpful local solicitor and/or counsellor if this is considered appropriate (either in parallel with or instead of mediation), make a plan for how to move forwards. By doing this, you will be giving yourself lots of information without having taken any actions or said anything that you might later regret, and you will maximise the chances that, whether you decide to reconcile with your partner or separate, these decisions will be taken jointly in a sensible, amicable and cost-effective way.

Remember that it is never too late to mediate and please feel free to contact me if you are feeling the stresses and strains over the Christmas and if you would like to discuss the options available to you.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post and I look forward to reading your comments.

Euan Davidson

Family mediator

Godalming Family Mediation