Family mediation for finances in high value and complex divorce and separation cases

Writing as a family mediator who operates in Surrey and parts of London, I regularly come into contact with people who are relatively comfortable financially and who therefore have a lot of financial issues to discuss and agree when a divorce or separation arises.

Add in the fact that my main office is very close to Guildford, which is often referred to as the divorce capital of the world, and you would think that there would be an endless stream of high net worth clients looking for the assistance of a family mediator in relation to seeking financial settlements as part of the divorce process.

However, from my experience, only a small fraction of such people, most of whom would undoubtedly benefit from the mediation process, appear to seek the assistance of a family mediator and I think that I know why.

Putting aside the general issue of lack of awareness about the existence of and use of mediation which is something that already limits the number of people who even have the opportunity to consider mediation, I am clear that there is a common misconception amongst those people who are actually of aware of mediation that mediation is not an appropriate process for complex and high value finance cases.

On a few occasions I have had conversations with family solicitors who overtly state that they do not believe that mediation can be trusted to deal with such financial matters in as rigorous and robust a way as family lawyers can but on far more occasions I have heard this view from the clients of solicitors who have been given this advice by their solicitors – sometimes from clients who still decide to attempt the mediation process (and who are generally very happy that they did not heed this particular piece of advice) and sometimes from one or other party to justify their decision not to start the mediation process.

For good measure, mix in the other popular misconception that mediation is a form of counselling that is warm and cuddly ( see https://www.godalmingfamilymediation.co.uk/family-mediation-is-it-a-form-of-counselling/ ) and it is clear that mediators really are facing an uphill struggle when it comes to establishing the suitability of mediation in complex finance cases.

This lack of belief in the efficacy of mediation for these cases is both ironic and misplaced.

It is ironic because it is often these sorts of complex, high value cases that would benefit the most from an impartial and suitability qualified mediator who is able to steer the parties involved away from the drawn out and extremely expensive legal battles that far too frequently result from the tug-of-war approach common within the more traditional legal routes. The parties involved could easily save tens of thousands of pounds each, not to mention many months of vitriol and heartache, at an extremely difficult time of their lives whilst, on the potential downside, there is very little to lose other than the cost of a small number of mediation sessions which would inevitably only ever represent a very small fraction of the potential costs of a protracted legal dispute.

It is misplaced because, whilst it is helpful if the mediator has some knowledge of complex financial instruments such as stock options, pensions and different business models, as well as some knowledge about the legal options available to the parties, the mediator’s role is never one of a financial advisor or legal advisor. The mediator is there to provide information to the best of their ability, whilst suggesting that the parties then seek appropriate advice from independent advisors (including legal and financial advice which will invariably be beneficial or even necessary in more complex finances case), in order that all of this information and advice can then be brought back into the mediation process with a view to seeking an agreed settlement at the end of the process.

I can’t help feeling that, if only more people realised the suitability of mediation for dealing with complex finance cases and if only more legal advisors were prepared to search out suitable mediators in their area who are able to deal with the different dynamics and pressures that these cases tend to involve, then the family law system would be a far more efficient and effective one that puts the clients first and maximises the chances of reaching timely and mutually agreed solutions for everyone involved. Hopefully, by me writing this article and by you reading this article, some more steps will have been taken towards reaching this place.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post and I look forward to reading your comments.

Euan Davidson

Family mediator

Godalming Family Mediation